 After Death Jaylin exploded into a world of computer monitors and switches – and clean, sterile metal walls. There were hallways stretched in all directions around him. He felt like he was in a high tech university. A small man with bright blue eyes and red hair, much like Jamie's, stared back at him. "Where the heck am I," Jaylin suddenly exploded out. "What... where... Christ sakes!" "You're dead," the small man said bluntly. "Welcome." "Ah... dead. I was having a date. I think I was falling in love," Jaylin screamed. He could feel his face contorting around the words. He felt like he had just lost something really important. "I can't be dead." "Ah.... yeah," the man paused. "You're dead. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it quite like that. I've been dead for a while. I just kind of forgot what that first time was like." "First... first?" Jaylin was starting to let spittle fly in the little man's face, even though he was sure that it wasn't the man's fault. "What the bloody hell do you mean by 'first'?" "Well... ah..." he stammered, "I'm Dorian." He stuck out his pale hand at Jaylin. Just then he heard a high-pitched scream, and turned to see a young lady pulling her own dark brown locks from her head. She was screaming with utter panic. "No-o-o!" she howled. "You can't do this to me. I don't want to be here." "Ah, and that is Kaylee," Dorian stammered. "Aw, shit. Two newbies. I wasn't ready for this, you know." Dorian rushed towards Kaylee to try to comfort her. She swung at his chest. "Do you freaking know what suicide means?" she screamed. "It means I don't want to think. I don't want to be. Why the hell am I here? What is this place?" Kaylee was obviously angry. It was also obvious that Kaylee wasn't as lucky as Jaylin to have someone stop her from committing suicide like Jamie had done for him. Lucky? What was he thinking? He was dead. That wasn't lucky. In fact, it was the farthest thing from being lucky. Had Jamie even been there? Perhaps he had imagined all the moments with her. Maybe she had been some deranged hallucination of a man dying from slitting his own wrists. And this, this was purgatory. "I'm sorry," Jaylin stammered. "Are we in purgatory?" Dorian laughed, and then caught himself and paused sinisterly. "Ah. Well, that depends what you mean by purgatory," he said. "You know, I'm not really sure. I'm just dead, like you. I don't claim to know any more than you do. I'm just supposed to guide you to your orientation." "Orientation? We need an orientation?" Jaylin asked. "Well, yes. And they will... I mean, sort of, explain everything to you there. But I can tell you, they call this the Astral Realm. You just came from the Material World. They say there is a Soul Level, as well. But, I've never been there. Although, they say there are these immortals... well, I'm just going to confuse you. We're going to be late to your orientation, if we don't hurry." Kaylee struck Dorian in the face. "Ah, darling," he said. "Don't do that." She then spit in his face and started to scream at the top of her lungs. "I don't want to be alive, I said!" "Well, technically..." Dorian started. "I don't want to feel a damn thing. Quiet... peace and quiet... that's all I want. Freaking..." Before she could finish, men in suits surrounded her. The suits were white. They may as well have put her in a straightjacket to cart her off. Already, Jaylin was uncomfortable with where he was. It felt antiseptic, surreal – and painful. He could understand Kaylee's frustrations. She had left the physical plane only to find out that she could never obliterate her pain, no matter how hard she tried. She would appear elsewhere. Kaylee's screams filled the halls. "Well, then," Dorian continued. "Shall we go?" "How do I know I want to go anywhere with you?" Jaylin asked. "You don't," Dorian said. He was a goofy-looking man. His hair looked more like fire than Jamie's had. "But where else are you going to go?" Jaylin looked around the sterile halls and thought about what Dorian said. There really wasn't anywhere else for him to go. "Besides, don't you want to figure out the meaning of life... what happens when you die?" Dorian said, then noticed Jaylin's hopeful look. "Just kidding about the meaning of life thing. I mean, I suppose there is one, but I doubt it's here." Dorian led him down the hall to a room marked 204. Jaylin stared at the door. It reminded him of his days in film school. He opened the door. A few people glanced up from their chairs. They all looked very confused and lost. A tall man with a thick mustache and beard looked at him with happy eyes. "Go on then, go ahead and grab a seat, Lad." Lad? Nobody had called him 'lad' since he was a little boy. "I'm Dr. Watts," the man addressed everyone. "You can call me Dr. or Watts... or whatever you wish," he continued. "This is your orientation. Please remain seated and at attention until we are finished. This may be the most important meeting of your life... lives." He waved his hand in the air dismissively as if the distinction didn't matter. "So, welcome to the world beyond the real world. Real world?" Dr. Watts laughed hysterically. No one else was laughing. "The material world is anything but real. It is a stage for you to learn... to experience. Imagine it as your... university." Dr. Watts let his happy eyes dance around the room. Jaylin wondered what the man had to be so happy about. If he was like everyone else in that realm... that meant he was dead. Last he checked, there was nothing to be happy about in being dead. "So, I'm sure this is all very confusing for many of you. Perhaps, you were just enjoying dinner, meeting the love of your life... or having a really bad day," Dr. Watts continued. There were nods around the room. Jaylin took a moment to survey the room. It was an odd array of people. Despite what one might think, older people actually took up a very small percentage of the room. Most in the room were actually in their middle years. There were a few young children, a good portion of teenagers, and the sex range seemed relatively balanced. The only single thing that struck him as odd was that there were no babies – not a single one. In fact, there wasn't really any child below the age of four. He certainly knew that young children did die. But where were they? Maybe there was another room for them. After all – they'd be too young to understand the bearded Dr. Watts. "Let me explain that you are all new souls. A new soul comes from the Soul Level. They are in essence... baby souls," he said. "It's a place you will not go back to for some time." "Where are we, then?" asked a teenage girl. "Ah, well, you are in a place you will come back to, often," he said. "The good news is that, from here on out, you will remember this plane... the Astral Realm. But, the catch is, that you will never remember it on the material world." "Why should it matter," the girl said. "We're dead. What use do we have for the material world?" "Ah, another good question," Dr. Watts continued. "You will continue to be reborn into the material world until you reach a state of perfection. Between each life, you will come back to this realm to choose your next life." "Cool," the girl said, like any teenager would. "So, I get to choose whoever I want to be." "Yes, of course. We don't choose for you," he said. "That would be like choosing what course you take in school. I mean, certainly that does happen in some areas of the material world, but it isn't very fun." Jaylin was growing to like Dr. Watts' flippant attitude about the state they all found themselves in. If he wasn't so attached to his past life, he would say that he was even excited about the idea of being reborn as someone – or even something, else. "How come I don't ever remember being reborn before?" the girl asked. "Well, like I said, you're a new soul. That means it was your first existence in the material world. But you will remember, now." "How come I don't remember the Soul Level? And what is perfection?" she continued with the voracity of any curious youth. "If we knew that answer so easily – well, I doubt any of us would be here." The girl smiled anxiously, "Why not? This sounds fun." "Well," Dr. Watts said. "I'm glad you're so anxious. Others aren't so much." Dr. Watts signaled everyone in the room by waving his arm around wildly. "Stand up, everyone, we're going to take a little tour," he said. Jaylin stood up reluctantly. He was happy enough in the Astral Realm. He really wasn't ready to go out into the material world again. The idea of starting over didn't appeal to him at all. The group filed out into the hallway with Dr. Watts in the lead. They walked through the winding paths of computer monitors that took up large portions of a wall. He pointed at a screen. The image was broken into a thousand smaller images. "That there is the viewpoint of a fly," he said. "And that over there," he continued as he pointed out another screen. "Is the life of a praying mantis." They could see the arms of the mantis coming down around its prey as it lifted towards the screen. "Hm... looks like it is lunch time," Dr. Watts said. "Ew..." the teenage girl commented. "We can't become bugs, can we?" she asked. "Of course you can." "Gross! I would never want to be a bug," she said. "There are advantages," he said. "I don't see any," she continued. Jaylin had to admit that he failed to see the advantage of being reborn as an insect. He felt compelled to speak. "How come everything looks like a TV studio? I wouldn't have thought that the Astral Realm would look like this." Dr. Watts smiled at Jaylin, "It really doesn't. It just makes it more comfortable for all the new souls coming into the realm. Imagine how much more uncomfortable you'd feel if we still used magic mirrors and crystal balls." "I can't really imagine feeling any more uncomfortable than I do right now," Jaylin commented. "Ah, yes... I imagine this can be awkward," Dr. Watts tried to comfort. "That's an understatement. I'm pretty sure," Jaylin said, beginning to get annoyed, "that I met the woman of my dreams. And now I'm standing here – when all I want to do is finish my date." "Ah... bummer," Dr. Watts said. "But this is something you should really talk with your guide about. I'm sorry it wasn't in your cards..." "Cards... you're implying that this was my destiny?" Jaylin was beginning to raise his voice. He was beginning to feel a bit like Kaylee and looked forward to the men in white suits. "Calm. Calm. I meant no such thing," Dr. Watts said, as he backed a bit down the hall. "We're rapping up here. Everyone is to meet with their guides, soon. They will meet you here in the hall." Dr. Watts disappeared down into the hall of classrooms before Jaylin could say another word. Dorian's hand touched his shoulder. "There, there. How was your orientation?" Dorian said. "Freaking fantastic!" Jaylin retorted. "Wonderful! I've never heard such a great review," Dorian said, somewhat matching Jaylin's sarcasm. "Well, then, let's get you reborn, then." "Whoa... whoa," Jaylin said, backing away from Dorian. "I'm in no way ready to be born as anything." "Fine. Fine. But it is inevitable, you know. You may as well choose." "It's just that, Dorian... how did I die? I didn't feel anything." "Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" Dorian replied. "I mean... I just want to know how I died." "Really," Dorian said, trying to brush the topic away. "You don't want to know that. I couldn't tell you anyway. I don't even know for sure how I died. Although, I have my suspicions." Jaylin sighed deeply. "It's not so bad," Dorian said helpfully. "I was a dolphin once. It was very pleasant. And I could do all kinds of tricks. Although, it did suck a bit when that amusement park caught me. Their pools just didn't compare to the ocean I was born in. But – I was a dolphin, Jaylin. A big freaking, blue dolphin." Jaylin looked at Dorian doubtfully. "For real! That really happened," Dorian said. Jaylin cracked a smile. "Ah..." Dorian pointed. "I got you to smile." He smiled himself. "Look, most first-timers choose something really simple. You know, like a rabbit or a bird... birds are cool... you get to fly." Jaylin thought for a moment, "How about a cat? I've always wondered what it was like to be a cat." A younger man came up behind Jaylin. "I'm Jeff," he said. "Believe me; you don't want to be a cat." "Really? I thought cats got waited on like gods. They freaking rule the world!" Jaylin said. "Humans take care of cats and dogs, and they don't usually like to see their pets die. Nope, you would just end up stuck as some human's slave. Honestly, I don't recommend it." "Okay," Jaylin sighed. "No cats, then." "Look," Dorian continued. "You just want to pick something really simple – with a very short life span. That way, you can get some experience without committing to some long life or something." "You mean die?" "I mean exactly that," Dorian said. "How else are you to get experience? Then you'll come right back here and you can select another life to try out." Jaylin sighed, "This is just weird. It seems I should give it a little more thought than you're suggesting." "Well, take a look around the screens. See if anything catches your attention. There's no rush." "What happens if I don't choose anything?" "You will. Trust us, you will," Dorian said. Jaylin walked around the screens. It strangely reminded him of being behind the walls of the Cameron house. Only here, he was behind the folds of reality. There were humans folded in embraces of love, insects preoccupied with the work of creation, spiders spinning webs to catch their prey... virtually everything he could imagine was on the screens. A cat ran after a ball thrown by its master. He did wonder what all those creatures, and all those other humans, thought of everything around them. He wondered how a fly's eyes worked, what it was like to see in the dark like a cat, and even what it was like to break out from a cocoon to discover he had wings like the butterfly. "Okay, I've made a choice," Jaylin announced. Surprised, Dorian ran over to Jaylin. "You did?" "Yes... I want to be a bunny rabbit." "A bunny rabbit?" Dorian inquired. "Really?" "Yes, why? Is there a problem," Jaylin asked. "Nope, not at all," Jaylin replied. "Bunny rabbit it is then." Continues... | 
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