Ανέκδοτα,15/05/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

(May 15, 2013) - Do not pay your car insurance bill... until you read this. Out of all 246 auto insurers, we found these important "hidden" discounts. * After reporting on the hidden discounts, 789,000 drivers   used this one tip to get extreme insurance discounts. * Recently reported: if you're just with "any" auto insurer, you may be overpaying by 75%. Click here -- to see the insurance discounts you'll get.

Heaven Bound An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor SHOCKING DISCOVERY... "Love" Hormone Discovered * Is there really a "love" hormone? Author says ABSOLUTELY! * Free Four Part Interview with Award-Winning author Susan Kuchinskas * Relationship breakthrough for those wanting more love and happiness Read the Exciting Full Interview Today... Click Here

New Principal As a new school principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?" The Custodian looked at him gravely... "We trust them with the children, don't we?" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Space Monkeys NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space. As the moment came closer NASA's mission control center announced, "This is mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!" At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle's engines ignited and the shuttle took off. Two hours later NASA's mission control center announced, "This is mission control to Monkey Two. Initiate!" At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks. Another two hours later mission control announced, "This is mission control to the astronaut..." At this the astronaut responded "I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don't touch anything." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

A Preacher Buys a Parrot A preacher is buying a parrot. "Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher. "Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him. "Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm." "Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?" "I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot. ================================================================================= Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: (May 15, 2013) - Do not pay your car insurance bill... until you read this. Out of all 246 auto insurers, we found these important "hidden" discounts. * After reporting on the hidden discounts, 789,000 drivers   used this one tip to get extreme insurance discounts. * Recently reported: if you're just with "any" auto insurer, you may be overpaying by 75%. Click here -- to see the insurance discounts you'll get. Editor's Note: You receive Late Night Jokes because you are subscribed to the Jokes ezine. This PM edition is sent Monday through Friday. Click here to stop receiving the evening edition. Late Night Funny #1 New Jersey Governor Chris Christie revealed that he underwent a surgery that restricts the amount of food he can consume. As a result, 12 animals have been removed from the endangered species list. Conan O'Brien Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Sponsor SHOCKING DISCOVERY... "Love" Hormone Discovered * Is there really a "love" hormone? Author says ABSOLUTELY! * Free Four Part Interview with Award-Winning author Susan Kuchinskas * Relationship breakthrough for those wanting more love and happiness Read the Exciting Full Interview Today... Click Here Late Night Funny #2 Today President Obama and Joe Biden met with South Korean President Park Geun-hye, who is known as South Korea’s ‘Iron Lady.’ Or as Biden put it, ‘Can you introduce me to Iron Man?’ Jimmy Fallon Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #3 Over the weekend, Arnold’s son Patrick Schwarzenegger was kicked out of a nightclub in Hollywood. Apparently, Patrick threatened the DJ. It was a chaotic scene. Security rushed in and said, ‘Which one of you is Schwarzenegger’s kid?’ And 50 people raised their hands. Craig Ferguson Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #4 CNN anchor Carol Costello was robbed of her iPhone in broad daylight while walking down the street in Atlanta. Unfortunately it was on CNN, so there weren’t any witnesses.