Ανέκδοτα, 23/1/2012

Military Language The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase "secure the building". The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor Attention Online Merchants! Introducing the new smash-hit shopper's website that lets you promote your products to 1000s of paying customers for free! Learn more and sign up for your FREE Zappta store today.

Pet Lovers Manifesto - Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball. - It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm. - My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees. - For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Manifesto for Pet Lovers - When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way. - The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. - The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run. - I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. - Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Too Late, He's Long Dead The orthopaedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, and had fastened the seatbelt around it to stop it falling over. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office." The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, man," he said, "but I think it's too late!"