ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ &ΒΡΑΔΥΝΑ ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 28/03/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

How Carolyn Reversed Her Alzheimer's by Disobeying Her Doctor This all-natural protein melts away the brain-clogging mineral that triggers memory loss, dementia and Alzheimer's -- and cuts brain cell death in half! And yet this Nobel Prize-winning discovery is being ignored by 99% of doctors. Click here to read this FREE REPORT!

The Last Word from Women Men are like fine wine... They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor Internet millionaire wants to GIVE you his website for FREE! The same website he used to make him a millionaire, you need to see this! How to get 3 checks each month (free website) As my gift to you, I’m going to GIVE you this SAME turnkey website... Claim your free website here (value $497) PS - I get these 3 checks even while I am sleeping, and now you can too!

What Do I Look Like? There was a young couple living in an old run down house. One day the man gets home from work and his wife says, "Honey, look at the walls. They haven't been painted as long as we have lived here. It's peeling and cracking; couldn't you please just paint them?" "Who do I look like? Michelangelo?" the man replies. "I guess not", says the wife. The next day the man gets back from work again. Again his wife starts to complain. "Oh sugar, couldn't you just please at least repair the stairs? They're falling apart and they're really unsafe to walk up." The man says, "Who do I look like? Frank Lloyd Wright?" "Well, maybe not," says the wife. The next week the man returns from his job. He walks into his house and is suddenly amazed. The stairs are fixed, the walls were painted and the house looked superb. "Honey.....How did you do this? It looks great!" he says. "Well I met up with a handyman down the street. He offered to repair our house if I either bake him a batch of brownies or sleep with him" says the wife. "Well, honey, you baked the batch of brownies, right?" The wife replies, "Who do I look like, Sara Lee?" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Age Barometer Total the number of these that you remember: 1. Blackjack chewing gum 2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 3. Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles 5. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7. Party lines 8. Newsreels before the movie 9. P.F. Flyers 10. Butch wax 11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive - 6933) 12. Peashooters 13. Howdy Doody 14. 45 RPM records 15. S&H Green Stamps 16. Hi-fi's 17. Metal ice trays with levers 18. Mimeograph paper 19. Blue flashbulbs 20. Beanie and Cecil 21. Roller skate keys 22. Cork popguns 23. Drive-ins 24. Studebakers 25. Wash tub wringers If you remembered 0-5 You're still young. If you remembered 6-10 You are getting older. If you remembered 11-15 Don't tell your age. If you remembered 16-25 You're older than dirt!. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Transportation in Heaven And it came to pass that an angel came up to three newly-dead men and said - "You are all to be allocated a method for transportation around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." The angel looked at the first guy, Dave, and said- "You, Dave, were a bad man in life. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat-up Dodge." The angel next looked at the second guy, Jon, and said- "You were not as sinful, but you still cheated on your wife twice. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon." The angel finally looked at our hero, Sam, and said- "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife. For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari." A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's Ferrari. There he is, sitting on the bonnet, his head in his hands, crying. "What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You're set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth, and said, "I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Health and Beauty Tips Get simple skin and hair care tips, dieting advice, and more with a subscription to ArcaMax's free Women ezine. The ezine also contains women's interest stories, daily inspirational quotes, and advice from the ladies at Annie's Mailbox. Subscribe to ArcaMax Women instantly. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors Late Night Funny #1 Are you all excited about March Madness? Are you all into March Madness? People are talking about who’s in, who’s out, who’s gonna be eliminated -- and that’s just here at NBC. Jay Leno Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Sponsor Internet millionaire wants to GIVE you his website for FREE! The same website he used to make him a millionaire, you need to see this! How to get 3 checks each month (free website) As my gift to you, I’m going to GIVE you this SAME turnkey website... Claim your free website here (value $497) PS - I get these 3 checks even while I am sleeping, and now you can too! Late Night Funny #2 I don't need to tell any of you out there that the Republican Party is in crisis. And ever since they lost the election the GOP has been flailing around for answers and no one has flailed harder than Republican National Committee Chairman and unsolved jumble puzzl Rance Priebus. By the way; the solution to that jumble? Crisp Bee Urine! Stephen Colbert Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #3 Top Ten Signs Your Pilot Is A Fake 10. His wrinkled Pan Am uniform 9. Excitedly tells you it's his first time on a plane 8. During takeoff, furiously flaps his arms 7. He's also in the Skymall magazine modeling hats 6. Refers to every control in the cockpit as a 'doo-hickey' 5. Insists on patting down every passenger himself 4. "Flies" you from Gate 3 to Gate 4 3. Wanders through cabin collecting "gas money" 2. When he thanks you for flying, his mustache falls off 1. He can't hold his liquor David Letterman Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #4 Last week the Republican National Committee released its report on what went wrong in the 2012 election and how it can reverse its fortunes in the future, full of ideals, principles, and hope. (news report with the RNC describing it as an autopsy) It is a document full of idealism, principles and hope named for the process bodies pulled from a river undergo. Jon Stewart