Northern Light
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.
But when they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too
But when they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too
String Cheese
A string walks into bar and asks for a rum and a cola. But the bartender says, "There is no strings allowed in here!"
So he goes into the bathroom and ties himself into a knot and frays himself at the ends. Then he walks back out and asks for a rum and a cola. The bartender asks, "Weren't you just the string that walked in here?" "No," he says, "I'm a frayed knot!" |
Drinks on me
A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.
Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can cook me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks!" |
Old Age Secret
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now." The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk." |
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