Sauerkraut
A doctor started an affair with his nurse. Shortly after this started, she announced that she was pregnant.
Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a large amount on money and asked her to go out of the country, to Germany, to wait out her pregnancy and have the baby over there.
"But, how will you know when our baby is born?" she asked.
"Well, he said, "after you've had the baby, just send me a post card and write 'sauerkraut' on the back."
Not knowing what else to do, she took the money and went off to Germany.
Six months went by. Then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office. "Dear, you received a very strange post card in the mail today," she explained. "I don't understand what it means!"
"Just wait till I get home and I'll read it," he replied. Later that evening, the doctor came home and read his post card which read:
"SAUERKRAUT, SAUERKRAUT, SAUERKRAUT, TWO WITH WIENERS, ONE WITHOUT!!!"
Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a large amount on money and asked her to go out of the country, to Germany, to wait out her pregnancy and have the baby over there.
"But, how will you know when our baby is born?" she asked.
"Well, he said, "after you've had the baby, just send me a post card and write 'sauerkraut' on the back."
Not knowing what else to do, she took the money and went off to Germany.
Six months went by. Then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office. "Dear, you received a very strange post card in the mail today," she explained. "I don't understand what it means!"
"Just wait till I get home and I'll read it," he replied. Later that evening, the doctor came home and read his post card which read:
"SAUERKRAUT, SAUERKRAUT, SAUERKRAUT, TWO WITH WIENERS, ONE WITHOUT!!!"
Rules for When You Find Yourself in a Horror Movie
- Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.
- When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. - Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. - Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out! - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice. - When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone. - Don't have sex. Especially if you've noticed a few of your friends are missing! - As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell. |
Work Equations
Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime |
What is Kitty?
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens." "How did you know that?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom |
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