| Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: | ||||||||||
The Secret to Curing Cancer: You've Been Throwing it in the Trash!
In 1921, a British doctor discovered that a remote tribal people was almost totally cancer-free. But when members of this tribe move away from their native land and change their diet, they get cancer just like everyone else. It's all thanks to a food most of us throw away as waste! Click Here to Read the Full Report Online - FREE! | ||||||||||
Dusty Housekeeping
My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.
One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel." Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate." | ||||||||||
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Ice Cream Humor
Q. How do astronauts eat their ice creams
A. In floats Q: How do you make a dinosaur float? A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur! Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? A: Ice Cream Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? A: Pi a'la mode. | ||||||||||
Two Lions
Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.
All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory. The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory. While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night. After sitting up camp, eating, and getting his safari settled African Jack sat on a stump and began reading. While he was busily engaged in the printed page, the two lions, simultaneously, pounced on African Jack and ate him on the spot. When the 6 o'clock news heard of the tragedy, they reported, "African Jack killed this evening. The motive is unclear, but it is reported he was reading between the lions." | ||||||||||
Funny Signs
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan." In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!" On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament-Ears pierced" Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?" In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
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Προσωπικο ημερολόγιο μαζί με διάφορες σκέψεις
Σάββατο 27 Απριλίου 2013
Ανέκδοτα, 26/04/2013
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