Ανέκδοτα, 2/3/2012- Giving Out Years-Life

Interesting Prescription The man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what's wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're just a plain old lazy bum." "Thank You." said the man. "Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor Orgreenic Kitchenware Get healthy with natural ceramic non-stick cookware. It's super non-stick surface is a patented natural ceramic material that requires little or no oil, butter or grease to cook your food just right. No more stuck food or chipping and peeling. Get a nine inch frying pan for just $19.99. Click here to learn more

They Said It, We Thought It Was Funny "I thought it would be nice to get a job at a duty-free shop, but it doesn't sound like there's a while lot to do in a place like that." --George Carlin --- "What insight could you possibly hope to gain from a man whose I.Q. wouldn't make a respectable earthquake?" --Diane Chambers (Shelley Long), CHEERS --- "The whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I wanted a long, boring story with no point to it, I've got my life." --Jerry Seinfeld Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Institution Criteria During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "Actually," said the Director, "A normal person would just pull the plug." "So tell me, do you want a room an East view or a West view?" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Giving Out Years On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform.How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again. On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.