ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 17/11/2012

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

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Candy, and more Candy The day after Halloween, Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat." Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little Johnny answered, "No, he but he knew how to mind his own business!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Accountant Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Human Resources & The 7 Dwarfs In every Human Resources report, there is a reason for termination. There are so many possibilities, that we have narrowed the list down to the 7 dwarfs. Here they are: Happy: Had trouble putting nose to the grindstone. Too much time spent telling jokes at the water cooler. Doc: Left to pursue further schooling, in particular, Ph.D. work. Sleepy: Chronically late for work. Caused many project delays. Grumpy: Poor attitude toward work. Not a team player. Trouble with early mornings. Dopey: Made several critical errors at work costing the company money, e.g., misappropriated company funds. Sneezy: Recurrent, chronic illness has made it difficult for the employee to complete work in a timely fashion. Bashful: Lack of initiative. Not willing to make cold calls. Too often let workplace disagreements simmer. OTHERS Jealous Queen: Heavy involvement in the occult not congruent with organizational policies. Snow White: Misconduct, e.g., kissing strange men while under some kind of trance. Huntsman: Couldn't stand to be cooped up in the office all day. Pursuing work with the National Forest Service.