ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 6/1/2012

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

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Make Life More Enjoyable - Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know. - Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb. - Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally. - No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off. - Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected). - If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Eggplants A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25 each -- three for a dollar." All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!" Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?" "What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Two Engineering Students Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Pizza Coupon Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon. When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

More Jokes from ArcaMax.com The Island Hippopotamus, New York Aisle Seat Don't Touch Me Late Night Funny #1