ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 23/1/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

New Video Reveals... The Case Against Detoxing You've probably heard that detoxing is good for your health. You've heard it can remove pesticides, heavy metals and chemicals from your body. You've heard it can bolster your immune system. But here's something you should know: detoxing can actually make your body more toxic. New video shows what to do instead to rid your body of pesticides, heavy metals and dangerous chemicals. Watch the Video Now!

Success in Marriage A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Six Cups of Coffee Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general go-fer at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out for coffee. He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos. "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" he said. The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me." "Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular, two black, and two decaf." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Double-Decker Bus A blonde, a redhead and a brunette sign up with a tourist group for a chartered-double-decker bus trip to London. There are only 2 seats left on the bottom of the bus, and only 1 seat on the top of the bus available when they board. The young ladies decide to take turns riding on the top, and flip a coin to see who gets the first turn. The blonde wins the toss. A couple of hours later, it's the redhead's turn. She takes the steps to the top and sees the blonde, sitting there scared half to death. She's clutching the seat in front of her so hard that her knuckles are white. "What's goin' on?" the redhead asks. "We're havin' a grand old time down below, singing and laughing." The blonde replies, "Yeah, but you've got a driver." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Comfortable Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow. - - - - ("com-for-da-bul" ) Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Comics for Pet Lovers Pete Tamburro Dog and cat owners will get a giggle out of Dog Eat Doug, Red and Rover, and more from ArcaMax Comics. ArcaMax has more than 70 comics to read free by e-mail every morning. Subscribe to one or more of your favorites and start reading! Subscribe to Dog Eat Doug instantly. Subscribe to Red and Rover instantly. -- From the ArcaMax editors