ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 4/2/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

(February 4, 2013) - Do not pay your car insurance bill... until you read this. Out of all 246 auto insurers, we found these important "hidden" discounts. * After reporting on the hidden discounts, 789,000 drivers used this one tip to get extreme insurance discounts. * Recently reported: if you're just with "any" auto insurer,   you may be overpaying by $793 a year. Click here -- to see the insurance discounts you'll get.

Little League Conference Coach Jones called the young lad in from center field during a Little League game for a conference. "See here Larry," said the coach, "you know the principles of good sportsmanship that the Little League practices. You also know we don't tolerate temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, sir," replied Larry. "Well, then Larry," sighed Coach Jones, "would you please try to explain it to your mother?" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Chin Chin Chin-Chin the panda was on trial for entering a New York City restaurant, eating dinner, pulling out a machine gun, and shooting out the windows and doors. The judge looked at Chin-Chin's lawyer and proclaimed, "Thirty eyewitnesses saw your client pay for dinner, shoot up the place, and leave. Security cameras caught the entire incident on video. I have no choice but to sentence your client ..." "Wait a second, your honor," said the lawyer, "My client may be guilty, but there are extenuating circumstances. He couldn't help his behavior that night, and if you look up the word 'panda' in the dictionary, you'll have no choice but to agree." The judge was puzzled, but he had his secretary bring his dictionary into court. There, under the letter P, he found; "PANDA: Black and white bear from China that eats shoots and leaves." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Knowing Where to Put It There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: "One chalk mark $1. Knowing where to put it $49,999" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Chemist's Joke Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? A: Because it's in the ground state.