Ανέκδοτα, 11/2/2012 (Only in America)

Only in America 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Successful Marriage A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Definitions The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary... alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter... and supply a new definition! 1) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3) Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 4) Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 5) Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 6) Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 7) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 8) Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Top 10 Reasons to Become a Nurse 1. Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good. 2. Fashionable shoes & sexy white uniforms. 3. Needles: It's better to give than to receive. 4. Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops eventually. 5. Expose yourself to rare, exotic, & exciting new diseases. 6. Interesting aromas. 7. Courteous & infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting. 8. Do enough charting to navigate around the world. 9. Celebrate the holidays with all your friends, at work. 10. Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.