Ανέκδοτα, 26/2/2012 Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings

Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away. 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. 3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you 4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him. 6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead. 7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Doctor Doctor Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot. Don't worry it's just a chain reaction! Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee Buzz off can't you see I'm busy? Doctor these pills you gave me for BO... What's wrong with them? They keep slipping out from under my arms! Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage. Don't talk rubbish! Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That's baaaaaaaaaad! Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee. Well buzz off I'm busy! Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito Go away, sucker! Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

That's so Wizard! What's the first thing that a wizard does in the morning? He wakes up! What do you call a wizard who's black and blue all over? Bruce! Why do witches wear pointy black hats? To keep their heads warm! What did the wizard say to his witch girlfriend? Hello gore-juice! What do you get if you cross a river with an inflatable wizard? To the other side! What do wizards stop for on the motorway? Witchhikers! What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a wizard? Tyrannosaurus hex!