Ανέκδοτα, 1/2/2012

Thoughts On Aging - The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress. - You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started. - You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before. - The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out. - Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac. - It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. - You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas. - Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money. - When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there. - You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Aging Thoughts - Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two. - You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. - Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. - Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds? - You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you. - Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. - By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle. - A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. - You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Double Death A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day, we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly states, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know." Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now. Are you gonna be ok?" "No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

The Most Important Discoveries Man discovered weapons, invented hunting. Woman discovered hunting, invented furs. Man discovered colors, invented painting. Woman discovered painting, invented make-up. Man discovered speech, invented conversation. Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip. Man discovered agriculture, invented food. Woman discovered food, invented diet. Man discovered friendship, invented love. Woman discovered love, invented marriage. Man discovered trade, invented money. Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.