Ανέκδοτα, 29/2/2012

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

FREE: New Video Reveals Diet & Workout LIES That Are Keeping You Fat It's not your fault. The weight loss industry said it was "healthy." But all you got from following their advice was a smaller version of the SAME flabby body. Ditch the workout & diet myths and get the body SHAPE you deserve--without setting foot in a gym. ==> Watch my NEW "Body Redesign" video (FREE for a short time)

Dark Sucker For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light. First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room. So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker. A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range. There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle. Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light. Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet. Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor Medicare Made Simple Paying too much for your supplemental insurance? Compare Plans Today!

Deep Thoughts About Pigs and Sheep - Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes? - Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job? - If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock? - If we make sweaters out of a sheep's hair, what do the sheep use to make sweaters? - If you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear what can you make with it? - If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll? - What do pigs say when they don't want to do something? Would it be 'Yea when humans fly'? - What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep? - Why can't pigs look up into the sky? - Why do pigs have curly tails? - Why do we call them guinea pigs when they are neither from Guinea nor are they pigs? - Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? - Why is it that only pigs and humans can get sunburn? - Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it? - Would a small pig be called a hamlet? Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Small Town USA Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this place called?" he asked the station attendant. "All depends," the native drawled. "Do you mean by them that has to live in this dad-blamed, moth-eaten, dust-covered dump, or by them that's merely enjoying its quaint and picturesque rustic charms for a short spell." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Inventions Bound to Fail *The water-proof towel *Glow in the dark sunglasses *Solar powered flashlights *Submarine screen doors *A book on how to read *Inflatable dart boards *A dictionary index *Dehydrated water - Just add water *Waterproof tea bags *The helicopter ejector seat