Ανέκδοτα, 5/2/2012

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

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Answering Machine Message - Just Kidding Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a message at the beep or call me back later. BEEP. (Pause three seconds.) Just kidding, that wasn't really the beep. Are you ready now? Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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You can't take it with you Trying to disprove the saying "You can't take it with you," a stingy old lawyer, diagnosed with a terminal illness, finally figured out how to take at least some of his fortune with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then told her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. When he passed away, he planned to reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, his wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that old fool!" she exclaimed. "I knew I should have put the money in the basement." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Ice Cream and Birds A fellow walked into a Baskin & Robbins Ice Cream Parlor on a very hot summery day. He ordered a double scooped chocolate cone, received it, and then walked away. Outside on the sidewalk he paused for a bit, then he pulled out a pair of red birds, sat down on a nearby bench with his birds, and placed them on top of his fudgie. A passerby who glanced over his way and noticed the curious sight, was prompted to ask "What's happening, Bud, with your treat with two birdies alight?" The fellow replied in a curious way, in an absolute serious tone, "I'm just trying, dear sir, as best I know how, to chill two birds with one cone." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

New Game Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game. The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor. They were the first roller coasters. Back in those days, the disks were made of iron, and they would bet on whose disk would roll the farthest. They called them ferrous wheels.