ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 10./12/2012

More New Commonplace Words Lactomangulation (n.) Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side. Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep. Peppier (n.) The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. Phonesia (n.) The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. Pupkus (n.) The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. Telecrastination (n.) The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Son of New Commonplace Words Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its environment is destroyed. Hence Faunacatering (v.), which has made a meal of many species. Frust (n.) The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding. Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world. Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Revenge of New Commonplace Words Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. Decaflon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. Disconfect (v.) To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs. Dopelar Effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you explain them rapidly. Elbonics (n.) The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented upon. Also known as an E-T-ry. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Going On The Wagon I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife that I had a drinking problem, and to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else. I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.