ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 14/12/2012

Please Come Out and Give Yourself Up Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor Are you over 55... or do you have a loved one who is? Then you'd better take a close look at this! It's All Free For Seniors! Every year Uncle Sam gives away hundreds of millions of dollars in cash, goods, and services to people just like you. All this free stuff however, is perhaps one of America's best kept secrets. Now, an amazing new book entitled "Free for Seniors" reveals thousands of sources of these fabulous freebies that are yours for the asking. Read more details here...

Simple Operation A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Free Drinks The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration." The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again." The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!" The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double." To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Donkey Raffle A Cajun named Jean Paul moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer rove up and said, "Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died." "Well then, just give me my money back." "Cain't do that. I went and spent it already." "OK then, just unload the donkey." "What ya gonna do with em." "I'm gonna raffle him off." "Ya cain't raffle off a dead donkey!" "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anyone he's dead." A month later the farmer met up with the Cajun and asked, "What happened with the dead donkey?" "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2.00 apiece and made a profit of $898.00." "Didn't no one complain?" "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2.00 back." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Weekday News and Features Digest Get the most popular news of the day, comic strips, and more every weekday in the News and Features Digest. Subscribers can look forward to the best of the ArcaMax line-up -- featured movie reviews, breaking news, recipes, featured interactive games, and more. Subscribe to the News and Features Digest instantly. Sincerely, ArcaMax Editors