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According to a new poll, most Americans think Santa Claus is a Democrat – which is really odd because when I think of a fat, old white man who hires unskilled labor, I think Republican.
Conan O'Brien |
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The fact of the matter is Santa isn’t a Democrat or a Republican. In fact, Santa isn’t even an American. I have news for you. The real Santa is Chinese. You think elves are the ones making that plastic crap we give our kids? No. Chinese people are.
Jimmy Kimmel |
Yesterday, Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper signed an amendment that officially legalized marijuana in the state. Stoners took a moment to thank Governor Hickenlooper — then they spent a few hours just saying the word ‘Hickenlooper.’
Jimmy Fallon |
A close friend of mine said his doctor gave him less than two weeks to live. But it turns out his doctor’s a Mayan. He says that to everybody.
Jay Leno |
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