ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 26/11/2012

The Greatest Benefits of Being Over 40 - Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. - People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" - People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. - There is nothing left to learn the hard way. - You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. - You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. - You get into heated arguments about pension plans. - You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. - You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. - You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. - You sing along with elevator music. - Your eyes won't get much worse. - Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. - You can't remember who sent you this list. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Necessary Information for the 40-and-older crowd - If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. - Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. - Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. - If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. - Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. - For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. - Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. - Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. - Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. - There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. - Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. - Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. - It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Father is a lawyer... While in Atlanta on vacation, Little Johnny's Daddy took one afternoon to see historic sites downtown. Two young families were also in line to the see the sites. Little Johnny struck up a conversation with one of the boys in line. "My name is Tommy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Johnny". "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Pop do for a living?" asked Tommy. Little Johnny replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Tommy. Johnny replied, "No, just the regular kind." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Signs Found In Kitchens 1. Kitchen closed - - this chick has had it! 2. Martha Stewart doesn't live here! 3. I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat too! 4. So this isn't Home Sweet Home... Adjust! 5. Ring Bell for Maid Service...If no answer do it yourself! 6. I clean house every other day.... Today is the other day! 7. If you write in the dust, please don't date it! 8. I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener! 9. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it! 10. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life. 11. COOK CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! 12. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. 13. If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards. 14. You may touch the dust in this house...but please don't write in it! 15. Apology...Although you'll find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse. 16. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious. 17. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. 18. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 20. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. 21. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. 22. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. 23. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. ...and the best one of them all... 24. My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.