Ανέκδοτα 1/05/2012

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: President Reduces Amount Homeowners Owe! Streamlined Refinance Process - Market Low of 2.5% If you owe less than $625,000 on your home mortgage you may be able to use a ridiculously easy trick to save up to $145,000. Click Here and See - You May be Surprised At How Much You Can Save! Jack's Last Will and Testament Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament: "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. "To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar. "To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. "And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Sponsor You could walk away with $1,500 to spend on facials, massages and more... Just for Mom! Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in Winning Surveys' Mom's Day Out Sweepstakes. This is your chance to win a day of luxury and pampering! Just take a survey and get entered to win the Mom's Day Out sweepstakes. Click here! A Walk by The Sea A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the sea shore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, sweeping the child out to sea. The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson. And, another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand. The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine. But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens. "When we came," she snapped indignantly, "he had a hat!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Too Much Sugar A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Anthill Golfing Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle. Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?" Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Horoscopes by E-Mail -- With New Forecast Edition Get daily predictions for your star sign with a free subscription to ArcaMax Horoscopes. Every morning, you'll receive your horoscope for the day, as well as the positions of the planets and luminaries. NEW: With a Horoscopes subscription, you will now receive the afternoon Horoscopes forecast edition (a custom version email unique to your individual sign). The afternoon edition offers you the next-day's forecast that includes your financial outlook, lucky lottery numbers, and love life outlook. Subscribe to ArcaMax Horoscopes instantly. -- From the ArcaMax editors