Bovine Humor
Q: What do cows do for entertainment?
A: Go to moo-vies.
Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they're making cow pies regularly.
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.
Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moo-dy Blues
Physics
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."
Ten Reasons Why TV Is Better Than The World-Wide Web
1. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.
2. When was the last time you tuned in to "Friends" and got a "Not Found 404" message?
3. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.
4. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.
5. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.
6. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.
7. "CSI" never slows down when a lot of people tune in.
8. You just can't find those cool infomercials on the Web.
9. Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to cable.
10. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a soda in one hand and chips in the other.
Eye Laugh
Cassie was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride, from Dayton, Ohio, to Washington, DC.
A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. Cassie bought each grandson a bag.
The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his brother and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?" replied the curious brother "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
A: Go to moo-vies.
Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they're making cow pies regularly.
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.
Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moo-dy Blues
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."
2. When was the last time you tuned in to "Friends" and got a "Not Found 404" message?
3. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.
4. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.
5. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.
6. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.
7. "CSI" never slows down when a lot of people tune in.
8. You just can't find those cool infomercials on the Web.
9. Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to cable.
10. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a soda in one hand and chips in the other.
A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. Cassie bought each grandson a bag.
The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his brother and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?" replied the curious brother "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
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