Ανέκδοτα, 23/05/2012

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

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The Priest and the Bum A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a subway one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick, and he had a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened he opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple of minutes later he asked the priest, "Father what causes arthritis"? "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and contempt for your fellow man." "Geez, I'll be darned," uttered the drunk and returned to reading his paper. The priest, thinking about what he said turned to the man and apologized. "I'm sorry son, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't, father. I was just reading in the paper that the Pope has arthritis.. " Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Four-by-Twos Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, he returned to the office and said, - "A long time. We're gonna build a house..." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

New Librarian The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had could write." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

New Teeth Our local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago. The first Sunday, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached for an hour and a half. I asked him about this. He then told me "well, John, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were still hurting a lot. Now the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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