Ανέκδοτα,28/04/2012

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

If you want to generate an extra $2,000/mo in income...

A millionaire doctor reveals a method anyone can use to collect several thousand dollars a month, without touching regular Wall Street investments.

Click here for this doctor's story.

Speeding

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky.

An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket.

"How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.

The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky.

"You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?"

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Historical Hystericals

What was King Arthur's favorite game?
Knights and crosses!

Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?
At the bottom!

Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!

Wish I had been born 1000 years ago!
Why is that?
Just think of all the history that I wouldn't have to learn!

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History's Hysterical

What's black and white all over and difficult?
An exam paper!

Why aren't you doing very well in history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!

The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon.
How many galleons did they get to the mile?

What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
Floodlights!

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Marry Me

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..."

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

"Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

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Video Game News and Reviews

Everyone's buzzing about the new PS4 -- but how much of the buzz is good? Check out one reviewer's opinion on the upcoming console and what it means for the future of gaming.

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-- From the ArcaMax editors

FILMORE

Marie Corelli

Marie Corelli

(May 1, 1855 - April 21, 1924)
Mary Mackay began her career as a musician, adopting the name Marie Corelli for the stage. She gave up this pursuit in her 30s and published her first novel, "A Romance of Two Worlds." Despite her popularity, she was considered untalented and melodramatic as an author. Later in her career, she wrote many works attempting to reconcile Christianity with many metaphysical ideas such as reincarnation. Despite her notoriety during her lifetime, she is virtually unknown today.

Το Τροπάριο της Κασσιανής – Ελεύθερη απόδοση

Το Τροπάριο της Κασσιανής – Ελεύθερη απόδοση

28/04/2013 Βούλγαρης Χρήστος Επεξεργασία Γράψτε ένα σχόλιο Go to comments

Γ. Κόρδης – Κασσιανή,
αυγοτέμπερα σε χαρτί 55x75cm

Κατά τη γνώμη μου είναι ένα από τα πιο ερωτικά ποιήματα της εκκλησιαστικής παράδοσης και όχι τυχαία θεωρείται ένα από τα πιο όμορφα ποίηματά της. Βέβαια, δεν χρειάζεται κανείς να περιοριστεί σε αυτήν για να εκτιμήσει την λογοτεχνική του αξία, την ευαισθησία και την λιτότητα της γλώσσας, την απουσία της παραμικρής επιτήδευσης καθώς και την πλούσια εικονοπλασία. Η απόδοση που ακολουθεί αν και σέβεται το πρωτότυπο δεν επιδιώκει την ακριβή μετάφρασή του και έτσι αποτελεί περισσότερο μια προσωπική ερμηνεία.

The Second Coming

The Second Coming

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The Second Coming

TURNING and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Literature Network » William Butler Yeats » The Second Coming

The Many Deaths of the Black Company (Chronicle of the Black Company)

By  Glen Cook
Publisher  Tor Books
ISBN  9780765324016
Published in  Science Fiction & Fantasy/Fantasy, Literature & Fiction
eBook  Kindle Edition

Add to Shelf Buy Now Audible Share Bookmark

Are you an AUTHOR? Click here to include your books on BookDaily.com

Sample Chapter

In those days the Black Company did not exist. This I know because there were laws and decrees that told me so. But I did not feel entirely insubstantial

Ανέκδοτα, 27/4/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

Weird Food KILLS Blood Pressure... Thousands of citizens concerned with high blood pressure and heart disease have already discovered this strange food that is being touted as a "Marine Miracle" by America's top doctors. Help your body cure itself from the "silent killer" known as hypertension and heart disease. Click Here Now to watch this free video that could save your life! [video]

Marry Me An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Health Professionals in Heaven Three nurses died and went to Heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who questioned them. "What did you used to do back on Earth?" he asked the first nurse. "Why do you think you should be allowed into Heaven?" She told him, "I was a nurse at an inner city hospital. I worked to bring healing and peace to many sufferers, especially poor children." "Very noble. You may enter." And he ushered her through the gates. He asked the same questions to the next nurse. "I was a missionary nurse in the Amazon. For many years I worked with a small group of doctors and nurses to help people in numerous tribes, healing them and telling them of God's love." The second nurse replied. "Excellent!" said St. Peter. And he ushered her through the gates as well. Finally he posed his questions to the third nurse. She hesitated, then explained, "I was just a nurse at an HMO." St. Peter considered her answer for a moment, then told her, "Well, you can enter, too." "Wow!" the nurse exclaimed in relief. "I almost thought you weren't going to let me in." "Oh, you can certainly come in," St. Peter told her, "but you can only stay for three days." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

The Seagull A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Good Pedigree The lil' Columbia, Maryland Yuppette was shopping in an upscale pet center. "I want a dog of which I can be proud," she told the salesman. "Does that one have a good pedigree?" "Miss," declared the clerk, "if she could speak, she wouldn't talk to either one of us."

Ανέκδοτα, 24/04/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

(April 24, 2013) - Do not pay your car insurance bill... until you read this. Out of all 246 auto insurers, we found these important "hidden" discounts. * After reporting on the hidden discounts, 789,000 drivers   used this one tip to get extreme insurance discounts. * Recently reported: if you're just with "any" auto insurer,   you may be overpaying by $793 a year. Click here -- to see the insurance discounts you'll get.

Kids at the Wedding At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor SHOCKING testosterone score saves man's life... personal story REVEALED! * Steroid Epidemic or Male Anti-Aging Breakthrough? You Decide. * Discovery sweeping the Country as men reclaim youth, strength and sex drive. * Doctor says if you don't know your score you are living in the dark ages! Take this FREE QUIZ... GUARANTED game changer for men over 40

A Gift from the Sheriff "Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?" "Yes. What can I do for you?" "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave. Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep!" "Happy Birthday, buddy!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Things to Say to Ruin a Date There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date... I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you. I used to come here all the time with my ex. Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour. I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look. It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Theory of M&M Evolution Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger,I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." ========================================================================================== okes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: (April 24, 2013) - Do not pay your car insurance bill... until you read this. Out of all 246 auto insurers, we found these important "hidden" discounts. * After reporting on the hidden discounts, 789,000 drivers   used this one tip to get extreme insurance discounts. * Recently reported: if you're just with "any" auto insurer,   you may be overpaying by $793 a year. Click here -- to see the insurance discounts you'll get. Editor's Note: You receive Late Night Jokes because you are subscribed to the Jokes ezine. This PM edition is sent Monday through Friday. Click here to stop receiving the evening edition. Late Night Funny #1 President Obama offered to wash senators' car if it would lead to an immigration bill. Senators then told Obama, 'If you're going to wash our cars, why do we need immigrants?' Conan O'Brien Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Sponsor SHOCKING testosterone score saves man's life... personal story REVEALED! * Steroid Epidemic or Male Anti-Aging Breakthrough? You Decide. * Discovery sweeping the Country as men reclaim youth, strength and sex drive. * Doctor says if you don't know your score you are living in the dark ages! Take this FREE QUIZ... GUARANTED game changer for men over 40 Late Night Funny #2 It was revealed today that someone sent President Obama a suspicious letter containing the poison ricin. It's a deadly poison made from beans. They said it's the third worst substance you can send in the mail behind anthrax and packing peanuts. Jimmy Kimmel Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #3 Happy birthday to Israel. The country of Israel turned 65. Now that it's 65, Israel plans to retire and move to Florida. Conan O'Brien Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #4 Why does the government charge us postage to send in our tax returns? We have to pay them to pay them. It's like giving a slice back to the pizza delivery guy. How about you just deduct 75 cents from what I already paid? Jimmy Kimmel Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Social Security column and more from ArcaMax Senior Living Check out ArcaMax's Senior Living channel, featuring news and advice for seniors on retirement, health, and more. Learn more about social security benefits, get health tips just for seniors, and more. Subscribe instantly to the Senior Living weekday email newsletter for daily news and feature stories. -- From the ArcaMax editors

BC

 

April 28, 2013

by Mastroianni and Hart

Read more at http://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/bc/#i5AcoLOIFUukhqC0.99

Garfield

 

April 26, 2013

by Jim Davis

Ανέκδοτα, 26/04/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

The Secret to Curing Cancer: You've Been Throwing it in the Trash! In 1921, a British doctor discovered that a remote tribal people was almost totally cancer-free. But when members of this tribe move away from their native land and change their diet, they get cancer just like everyone else. It's all thanks to a food most of us throw away as waste! Click Here to Read the Full Report Online - FREE!

Dusty Housekeeping My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper. One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel." Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Ice Cream Humor Q. How do astronauts eat their ice creams A. In floats Q: How do you make a dinosaur float? A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur! Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? A: Ice Cream Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? A: Pi a'la mode. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Two Lions Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle. All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory. The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory. While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night. After sitting up camp, eating, and getting his safari settled African Jack sat on a stump and began reading. While he was busily engaged in the printed page, the two lions, simultaneously, pounced on African Jack and ate him on the spot. When the 6 o'clock news heard of the tragedy, they reported, "African Jack killed this evening. The motive is unclear, but it is reported he was reading between the lions." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Funny Signs In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work." In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan." In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!" On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament-Ears pierced" Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?" In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished." ==================================================================================== Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: The Secret to Curing Cancer: You've Been Throwing it in the Trash! In 1921, a British doctor discovered that a remote tribal people was almost totally cancer-free. But when members of this tribe move away from their native land and change their diet, they get cancer just like everyone else. It's all thanks to a food most of us throw away as waste! Click Here to Read the Full Report Online - FREE! Editor's Note: You receive Late Night Jokes because you are subscribed to the Jokes ezine. This PM edition is sent Monday through Friday. Click here to stop receiving the evening edition. Late Night Funny #1 All five living presidents will gather for the opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library. President Obama says he hopes he can pick up some ideas for when he builds his. It's going to be called the 'Blame George W. Bush Presidential Library.' Jay Leno Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Sponsor Are you looking to earn an extra $5 in 5 minutes each day by doing simple things such as taking short surveys and reading email? Join 5in5 now today for Free and you can do just that! Earn $5 per day for doing things you already do! Plus, receive a $20 Opportunity when you join today! Make sure to complete the registration so that you receive your daily offer to earn $5 in 5 minutes! Click Here... Late Night Funny #2 A new report found that the worst job in the U.S. is being a newspaper reporter. They say it's better for writers to just focus on fiction and become a CNN reporter. Jimmy Fallon Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #3 You know what the worst job in America is? It's newspaper reporter. I guess the pollsters forgot to ask the guy who cleans the toilets at Dodger Stadium how things are going for him. Jimmy Kimmel Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #4 It was dubbed the worst job because it's high stress, low pay, and often requires working in dangerous conditions. This must have been a fun story for the newspaper reporters to report. 'Hey guys, guess what? Our lives stink. Jimmy Kimmel Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Get Weird News Free by E-Mail Sometimes you need a laugh when you're reading the morning news. So take a break from the serious news of the world and read up on offers for a one-way trip to Mars. Or the man who was reunited with his misogynistic macaw after five years. You can read all these strange-but-true stories and more in the ArcaMax Weird News feature. Subscribe to the free ezine to get all these stories delivered to you by e-mail every morning. Subscribe to Weird News instantly. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors

Ανέκδοτα, 25/4/21013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: Three Kinds of Sleep Problems Wreak Havoc With Your Sweet Dreams And none of the natural remedies you’ve taken has helped. You still spend most nights tossing and turning - and watching the minutes crawl by. The good news is... Scientists have uncovered the underlying cause of each of those frustrating sleep problems. Click here now to find out what it is - and discover a simple way to reverse them so you can finally get the deep, refreshing sleep you deserve. Church Feuds Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside. One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall Not Be Moved.' The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, 'Jesus Paid It All.' The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was 'I Love To Tell The Story.' The preacher became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang 'Oh, Why Not Tonight.' When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus.' Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Sponsor Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in Game Console Rewards' New Console promotion. Don't wait another second! Get the new PS4(R) FREE, details apply. The highly anticipated gaming system pushes the boundaries, with the DUALSHOCK(R) 4 controller, precise camera, and breathtaking gameplay. To get your PS4(R), please follow this link. Chemical Analysis of Human Elements Element name: WOMAN. Symbol: WO. Atomic weight: 'Don't even go there'. Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum,and precious gemstones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Element name: MAN. Symbol: XY. Atomic weight: (180 +/- 50). Physical properties: Solid at room temperature. Gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to age and rust, older samples are unable to conduct electricity as well as younger samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (child) for prolonged periods of time. Can be neutralised by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Animal Truisms - A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - An aquarium is just interactive television for cats. - Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes. - Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it. - Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. - Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner. - Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. - Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God. - Dogs may shed, but cats shred. - Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful - I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic. - I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It More Animal Truisms - I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult? - If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them. - In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. - No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. - Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane. - Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. - We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls? - When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Get Weird News Free by E-Mail Sometimes you need a laugh when you're reading the morning news. So take a break from the serious news of the world and read up on offers for a one-way trip to Mars. Or the man who was reunited with his misogynistic macaw after five years. You can read all these strange-but-true stories and more in the ArcaMax Weird News feature. Subscribe to the free ezine to get all these stories delivered to you by e-mail every morning. Subscribe to Weird News instantly. Find out more before subscribing. =============================================================================== Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

Three Kinds of Sleep Problems Wreak Havoc With Your Sweet Dreams And none of the natural remedies you’ve taken has helped. You still spend most nights tossing and turning - and watching the minutes crawl by. The good news is... Scientists have uncovered the underlying cause of each of those frustrating sleep problems. Click here now to find out what it is - and discover a simple way to reverse them so you can finally get the deep, refreshing sleep you deserve.

Editor's Note: You receive Late Night Jokes because you are subscribed to the Jokes ezine. This PM edition is sent Monday through Friday. Click here to stop receiving the evening edition.

Late Night Funny #1 Do you believe Dennis Rodman is still talking about Kim Jong Un? It’s not a good sign when the friend who’s trying to explain that you’re not crazy is Dennis Rodman. That’s not the guy I would send out for my sanity test. Dennis Rodman claims the FBI wants to hire him as an informant. That makes sense because the first thing you want to do is to tell everyone you’re an FBI informant. Conan O'Brien Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in Game Console Rewards' New Console promotion. Don't wait another second! Get the new PS4(R) FREE, details apply. The highly anticipated gaming system pushes the boundaries, with the DUALSHOCK(R) 4 controller, precise camera, and breathtaking gameplay. To get your PS4(R), please follow this link.

Late Night Funny #2 Federal law enforcement agencies say they believe it’s from the same person who sent ricin to a Republican senator yesterday. At least he’s bipartisan. Jimmy Kimmel Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Late Night Funny #3 Why does the government charge us postage to send in our tax returns? We have to pay them to pay them. It’s like giving a slice back to the pizza delivery guy. How about you just deduct 75 cents from what I already paid? Jimmy Kimmel Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Late Night Funny #4 President Obama offered to wash senators’ cars if it would lead to an immigration bill. Senators then told Obama, ‘If you’re going to wash our cars, why do we need immigrants?' Conan O'Brien Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Get Weird News Free by E-Mail Sometimes you need a laugh when you're reading the morning news. So take a break from the serious news of the world and read up on offers for a one-way trip to Mars. Or the man who was reunited with his misogynistic macaw after five years. You can read all these strange-but-true stories and more in the ArcaMax Weird News feature. Subscribe to the free ezine to get all these stories delivered to you by e-mail every morning. Subscribe to Weird News instantly. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors