ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 31/1/2013

Unruly Child A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, 'I'm running away from home!'. The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. 'What if you get hungry?', he said. 'Then I'll come home and eat!', bravely declared the child. ' And what if you run out of money?'. 'I will come home and get some!', readily replied the child. The man then made a final attempt, 'What if your clothes get dirty?'. 'Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them.', was the reply. The man shook his head and exclaimed, 'This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!!'. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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The Witness An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Richard, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?" "Yes," said Richard , "I saw him plainly take the goods." The lawyer asks Richard again, "Richard, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?" "Yes" says Richard, "I saw him do it." Then the lawyer asks Richard, "Richard listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?" Richard says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Dress Code Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" The man replied, "That's one of the benefits you get of owning the company." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Texas At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas. After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man. "Say, is this really a healthy place?" "It sure is," the man replied. "When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Political-Themed Comics Available from ArcaMax No matter what your side of the aisle, we've got comics sure to inspire discussion. Check out Doonesbury, Mallard Filmore, and more from ArcaMax Comics. ArcaMax has more than 70 comics to read free by e-mail every morning. Subscribe to one or more of your favorites and start reading! Subscribe to Doonesbury instantly. Subscribe to Mallard Filmore instantly. View the full list of comics. -- From the ArcaMax editors ==================================================================================== Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: A Secret Wealth Loophole No One Wants You To Know... With all the 'doom and gloom' about the economy dominating the media, a former homeless man and a handful of his hand picked insiders are generating MASSIVE income using the "100% Commission Loophole." Your Turn! Earn 100% commissions on EVERYTHING you sell... No Phone Calls... No Hassle! See proof - Over $20 Million Commissions paid out in 12 months... $340,000 paid out in a single day... See how this works GO: Watch It Now Editor's Note: You receive Late Night Jokes because you are subscribed to the Jokes ezine. This PM edition is sent Monday through Friday. Click here to stop receiving the evening edition. Late Night Funny #1 I’m still reeling from yesterday’s inauguration disaster. First off, where was security? The Secret Service is supposed to protect the president and first lady, but in the middle of a kiss, they were viciously photobombed. Enjoy Gitmo, Malia. Stephen Colbert Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Sponsor Does your family have a safety net? Help protect loved ones with term life coverage. Save money on life insurance direct with Fidelity Life. URGENT: Fidelity Life $500k offer Late Night Funny #2 The post office may sue Lance Armstrong for all of the money they spent sponsoring his team. In fact, after all these lawsuits, they say that Lance Armstrong could end up as broke as the post office. Jay Leno Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #3 More than a million people gathered in our nation’s capital yesterday, and tens of millions more watched from home to celebrate the first lady’s new haircut. Jimmy Kimmel Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Late Night Funny #4 Video game-maker Atari has filed for bankruptcy. Atari fans are so upset they’re organizing a massive letter-writing campaign to President Reagan. Conan O'Brien Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It Political-Themed Comics Available from ArcaMax No matter what your side of the aisle, we've got comics sure to inspire discussion. Check out Doonesbury, Mallard Filmore, and more from ArcaMax Comics. ArcaMax has more than 70 comics to read free by e-mail every morning. Subscribe to one or more of your favorites and start reading! Subscribe to Doonesbury instantly. Subscribe to Mallard Filmore instantly. View the full list of comics. -- From the ArcaMax editors