ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 30/11/2012

You Know You're Over The Hill When... 1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music. 2. You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs. 3. Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life. 4. You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose. 5. You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large...In that order. 6. You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Cumbaya.. 7. You keep repeating yourself. 8. You start video taping daytime game shows. 9. At the airport, they ask to check your bags...and you're not carrying any luggage. 10. You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame. 11. Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar...a month at a time. 12. At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough. 13. Your new easy chair has more options than your car. 14. When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...and it stays out. 15. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle. 16. Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments." 17. You keep repeating yourself. 18. It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump. 19. You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary. 20. You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker. 21. You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..." 22. You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs. 23. You look both ways before crossing a room. 24. Your social security number only has three digits. 25. You keep repeating yourself. 26. You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity. 27. You go to a Garden Party and you're mainly interested in the garden. 28. You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep. 29. The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say "pureed." 30. At parties you attend, "regularity" is considered the topic of choice. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Teenagers... My husband grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong. "I have to ask you to move your car," my husband told him. "Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?" "No," he replied, "it's parked at the wrong address." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

The Beauty of Sharing A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat. She replied, "When he's done with my teeth!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Pigeons But baby pigeon said, "I can't make it; I'll get too tired." His mother said, "Don't worry; I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine." The baby started to cry. "What's wrong?" said the mother. "I don't want to be pigeon towed!"