Ανέκδοτα, 25/2/2012

Animal Funnies Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires! Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machine! What is a pigs favorite ballet? Swine Lake! What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog? Pooched eggs! How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday? Eat him on Saturday! Why did the foal cough? Because he was a little horse! What is the opposite of cock-a doodle-doo? Cock-a-doodle-don't! What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour? Leave it inside the cow! Where do milkshakes come from? Excited cows! Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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First Offense The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. "Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go. "I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man. "And why not?" "Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Get Your Own One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost?" God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!" But, God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Housekeeping Husband My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath." I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest