ΑΝΕΚΔΟΤΑ 10/1/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

Wipe Out 20 Years of Aging in 6 Months?  The Medical College of Wisconsin revealed they found a way to reverse up to 20 years of aging in just 6 months. These men lost 14.4% of their body fat and gained 8.8% lean body mass. So why has this anti-aging miracle sat on the shelf for 22 years? Watch this special video presentation and find out. These long-held secrets are now out in the open... but not for long!

Physics A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

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Lena's Divorce The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away. 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. 3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you 4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him. 6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead. 7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

20 Tons of Canaries There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?" To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Funnies for Families Parents and kids alike will get a laugh out of comics like Zits, Rugrats, and more with free subscriptions to selections from the ArcaMax Funnies. ArcaMax features dozens of popular comics free to read online or by e-mail. Choose your favorites from classic strips to popular new artists, and subscribe to receive them every morning by e-mail!