ΑΝΕ3ΚΔΟΤΑ 17/1/2013

Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by:

Homeless Man Goes From Living In Van To Six Figure Income? A 31 year old homeless man went from living in a van, to making six figures on the Internet in just 2 years. Now he and his partner want to show you how you can do the same thing. Discover their amazing true story, and make 2013 the year you break free from financial bondage and create the life you deserve. How To Finally Generate A Six-Figure Income On The Internet

Printing Yellow I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Sponsor If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up and even if they're dating somebody else now) you need to watch this video right away... This video teaches you the REAL reason you've failed to get your ex back. And how to use tiny little text messages to erase all the "bad times" and "mistakes" and create a whole new relationship with your ex. If you want your ex back, you've got to watch this!

Tough Life A guy has one arm and decides he doesn't want to go on with life, not being able to do the things other guys can do with two arms. So, he goes up to the 20th story of a building and is trying to build up the nerve to jump. As he's standing there a guy comes walking on the sidewalk below. The one-armed man notice's that this other guy has NO arms at all. He watches as the guy stops on the sidewalk and starts dancing and spinning in circles. The one-armed man thinks to himself how selfish he is, in that he has one arm and is ready to end it all! So, he decides to go down and talk to the No-armed man. He goes down and walks up to the guy and says, a "Hey mana I've been up on the 20th floor considering to end it all because I have only One arm. Here you are with No arms and are dancing around. What's your deal?" The guy with No arms says, "Arrrrr - dude I'm NOT happy! My nose itches!!!" Moral: Think Differently. If you got no arms, get a friend to itch your nose. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Clocks A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move." "Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's," replied St. Peter. "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's my congressman's clock?" asked the man. "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It

Beethoven's Grave A daring vacationer in Vienna is walking through a graveyard when all of a sudden she hears music. No one is around, so she starts looking to see where ita (tm)s coming from. She finally locates the source and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads, a oeLudwig van Beethoven.a Then she realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward. Puzzled, she leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with her. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but it is also being played backward. Curious, the ladies agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing and the expert concludes that the symphonies are in fact being played in reverse order. By the next day the word spread and a huge group gathered around the grave to hear the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker approaches the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It